When you get engaged to the love of your life, and that ring is slipped onto your left finger we are all very pleased for you. We are excited for you and hope that you enjoy this time in your life. But, we’ve all heard the term Bridezilla and while we NEVER have those here at White Oaks of course, we have heard some stories! If you are at the beginning of this really fun time of planning for your big day, we thought this would be a good blog to remind you to be you…not the bride beast that may be trying to assert herself in this phase of your life.
Getting engaged is happy news and everyone wants to hear happy news! Everyone in your life will be thrilled for you (well hopefully). Some of your friends and family will actually feel honoured to be invited to share your special day or even, actively participate as a member of your wedding party. However, when you get engaged, be assured that it does not mean the rest of humanity has ceased to have lives, feelings and interests. We (humanity that is) do not exist for the pure pleasure of serving you in all your fiancé wonderment. Your wedding party is made up of lovely people who have willingly and happily agreed to give their time, money and effort all for your celebration. These people are not your new found employees.
I’ve watched in amazement as young women I know pull out their hair, their wallets, their time, and most of all their patience as they try to navigate the pure awfulness of the bride they once thought of as a friend.
Let’s review, these girls agree wholeheartedly to be a bridesmaid. They give up their right to choose what they will wear on your special day and even what make up they will wear or how their hair will be styled. Quite often this results in unflattering horrors of fashion that they then need to shell out considerable amounts of money to purchase for a one day only event. Then a mad scientist shows up and slaps some professional make up on them which may or may not be clown-like and teases their hair up into an up do that makes their necks too long, or itches, or has too many ringlets draping down making them look like some Victorian dolly in the Toy Shop window. They shell money out for those services too AND agree to be photographed wrapped in taffeta, ruffles and bows standing smiling, lovingly, but painfully beside you – in your gorgeous wedding gown – like the poor peasant hand-maiden you’ve made them into.
Unbelievably, they also have to shell out for shower gifts, throw a shower in many cases, act like they love the stupid games, research new ways to display tea sandwiches, fruit trays and fancy appetizers, sit beside your drunk Auntie Mary and hold the garbage bag while you toss your wrapping paper at them throughout the whole shebaggle.
And then we decided guys can’t do their own thing with a stag…we now have a stag and doe which of course involves these gals organizing another event for your benefit and bank account! Games, liquor licenses, selling tickets and getting donated prizes for your big night on top of arranging food and of course, trying to live their own measly lives at the same time.
Many times they sit with you and help you tie tags to your favours, address invitations, lick stamps and assemble table seating charts. I mean, these girls are saints. This is only a small portion of what bridesmaids and in some cases your family members do to help you get ready for your special day.
And if things do go exactly your way? Cue Bridezilla! A raving lunatic pitching a fit, crying, stomping and generally acting like a toddler. Does the new jewelry have some kind of weird chemical that seeps into a bride’s body turning her into a stressed out, entitled shrew? I have seen some really terrible and out there behaviour from girls that used to be nice. They used to have kindness and gratitude in their souls. What happens to some girls when they get engaged?
Planning a big event like a wedding is stressful – yes. We get it. But trust me, it will all work out and be fine. The day will come and go like every other day of the year does. Make the most of it and enjoy the moment versus fretting that the florist put mauve ribbons on the pews instead of violet…or that Janie got her hair cut without your holy royal permission two weeks beforehand…or one of your bridesmaids got drunk at your bachelorette and fell asleep. Maybe she was exhausted from hand tying string lights around the mason jars you want to string all over the place. You don’t know.
Don’t let bridezilla loose! Resist my friends! Remember and be appreciative of all that people do for you. This will go a long way to people continuing to love you, be your friend and support you when real life comes along and gets hard.