I once worked with a man who completely forgot Valentine’s Day. Several women in the office received deliveries of lovely flowers throughout the day. As the day went on he went from, “oh well, I’ll stop by a florist on the way home and pick up some flowers”…to the sheer panic in the late afternoon as he came to the realization that a quick pick up of flowers was not going to be as simple as he thought, on the busiest flower day of the year! By 4:00, he started going around the offices offering to buy flowers from those of us that have thoughtful partners. I actually considered selling him my flowers and taking my lovely husband out for dinner with the money – you know, the next week when reservations would once again be available!

Poor guy. Went home and faced the music, flowerless. Plan-less. It didn’t end well for him.

Some couples agree to skip this made up holiday altogether. This is a joint decision that some couples will make of course, but if you have not had this conversation with your partner, skipping Valentine’s Day and making no mention of it, no plans for it big or small, will likely not end well for you either.

So – from this old married lady – a few suggestions, if I may:

Whatever you are going to do, flowers, dinner, spa, getaway, handmade cards, stay at home romance, chocolate fondue…arrange it well in advance. Don’t be a last minute Charlie and run around your workplace trying to buy flowers from your work colleagues with a crazed and desperate look in your eye.

Now girls, this can apply to you as well. There’s nothing stopping you from taking the bull by the horns and making all the arrangements and sweeping your special someone off their feet. Why not?  I wouldn’t recommend sending a man flowers to work though. I made this mistake early on in my marriage. I thought I’d be all modern woman and send my husband flowers for our anniversary and I’ve got to tell you, it didn’t fly.  He got mocked a bit at the office and told me not to do it again. His work peeps were clearly old fashioned and maybe jerks, I’m not sure but I never did it again.

If you have called a ban on Valentine’s Day together, you better stick to it! Don’t come home with a gift, or flowers, or arrange anything romantic after pinky swearing you were doing nothing. It’s not fair to the person in the relationship that sticks to the no Valentine’s pact and makes them feel bad. So if you are making a pact – stick to it!

My husband and I have been married 27 years and we’ve done the whole gamut of possible Valentine’s Day ideas. My favourite, is a nice card that expresses our relationship really well. If you are reading this though my dear…flowers are also nice and in return, I’ll iron your stupid shirts for a week. Now that’s love.