What NOT To Do at the Spa

We all love going to the spa.  Well most of us love going to the spa.  A moment out of our busy, busy lives to let someone look after us.  How nice.

We’ve noticed a few behaviours that we feel we should point out, as perhaps ah… NOT appropriate. In fact, in some of these cases, they are just ridiculous and honestly, we are aghast, yes, aghast, that we even have to discuss.

  1. How to Operate a Robe in a Spa: you’d think this would be kind of obvious for most.  Robes come with a belt.  Please encase yourself in the robe AND THEN TIE THE BELT CLOSED.  You are not at home. Other people are in the space and walking about with the robe flapping behind you like a cape does not make you Batman.  It makes you a scary flasher.  Belt that up!
  2. How to Sit in a Robe in a Spa: you are now properly dressed in the robe, great! Now when you sit down in the lounge or in a pedicure chair, or any chair at all, please for the love of all that is holy, keep your legs closed or crossed.  We are aware that you are relaxed, but sitting with your legs wide open, separates the robe and we can all see your bits.  Or your undies.  Regardless, it’s all very distracting.  Knees together!
  3. Waiting Room Tips: most spas have a lovely relaxation room where you go once you are properly in your robe, legs crossed, belt tied!  Sit and enjoy the quiet!  Have an herbal tea, or flavoured water – order from the menu and treat yourself to a mimosa even.  Nod and smile at new people that wander in.  Maybe engage in conversation with someone, in a quiet voice, so as not to disturb.  If you are with your significant other for couples treatments, well done you!  On behalf of all the other people present in the relaxation room, please, I beg of you – pahleese – do not make out with your partner in the relaxation room.  It may feel romantic to you, but to the rest of us sipping our herbal tea, it’s just icky.  I mean the last thing any of us want to see is two people getting it on in a live porno show just before we head into a quiet room to get a massage where now we will continue to picture it, over and over again – ewww.  You are ruining spa for everyone.  Get it together.
  4. Voice Volume: Loud people in a spa are a pet peeve of every reasonable person alive on the earth that goes to a spa.  No one needs to know your gossip, or what you ate for lunch, or how hard it was to find good parking.  As our pal Miss T. Swift says, “You need to calm down, you’re being too loud.”
  5. Cell phones: Cell phones are not permitted. I can feel your panic from here. What will I look at while I’m waiting? How will the world know that I’m at the spa if I can’t post a selfie to the ‘gram? Here’s the thing…the spa is an environment created solely for stress relief and when your phone is lighting up the relaxation room ceiling like a bat signal, it is disturbing those around you and most importantly, detracting from your own down time. Of course, there are emergencies that may arise and if you happen to be expecting such a call, please pass on the Spa’s phone number and explain to the courteous receptionists that a call may be coming in, and that they have permission to interrupt your service if need be. This way your cell phone is locked away and you can enjoy what you came for!
  6. Selfies: The biggest problem with selfies in the spa, is that while you pose in the mirror, with your robe dipping below your shoulder to look all “alluring” you could be capturing other people in the reflection or nearby.  It violates their privacy.  How would you feel, if you bent down to put on your socks, naked butt in the air and you ended up on someone’s Instagram?  If you want to capture the experience, most spa teams will be more than pleased to take a well-lit picture of you and your friends in one of their public areas.  It’ll be a better picture and ensure it doesn’t hurt anyone else.  Much better for the gram too!

Is a long, long, long time team member at White Oaks and managing editor. She is an expert at nothing but has an opinion on everything, which she is happy to offer for entertainment purposes only. Please don't take anything she says all that seriously. Seriously.

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  1. Marcus

    22 November

    I wish the spa culture in Canada was advanced like much of Northwestern Europe where nudity is normal, then a lot of these issues disappear. However, you should be in a properly tied robe while sipping tea or getting a pedicure! ☺

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